This here is what they call an Awards Show.
The entire world revolves around Awards Shows believe it or not. Some people get all gushy during the Oscars, seeing in the stars a higher power that they wish they had in themselves. Others debase the Oscars as a materialistic and shallow portrayal of society, but they become one-in-the-same during the X Games.
But this is a pony of a different stripe and a zebra of a different trot. This here is the unofficial (well, official, actually) presentation of the best I've got to give.
This is an honour to the participants involved in 26 days of debauchery. Believe it or not, that much chaos is actually a lot of work. Vacation, my ass. It made World War II look like World War I.
In memoriam...
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1. LEG OF THE TRIP (Legend of the Trip):
Alex Graham
– A variety of reasons that cannot be told to your kids, but basically he had the MOST POINTS
2. THE TONY SOPRANO AWARD (Best Use of a Robe):
Scott Whidden
– He looked better than this guy
3. THE JIM LOVELL AWARD (Biggest Space Cadet):
Jordan Niskanen
– More often than not, he could not pass off his questions as "curiosity"
4. THE RUDY AWARD (All Heart, Little Skill):
Vir Sodhi
– Unlikely contest winner...
5. THE U.S.O. AWARD (Most Use of an Appendage):
Josh Ellis
– You know, come on.
6. KAMIKAZE AWARD (Greatest Use of the Ocean):
Wyatt Gray
– He practically grew a fin
7. PENNY HARDAWAY AWARD (Best Dressed):
Mike Weatherbee
– Partially, almost wholly, because of his Pen Man jersey
8. THE YANKEES AWARD (Least Interest in the Recession):
Duncan Fraser
– His flight in/cab from the airport/t-shirt manufacturing/Angels game/Santa Monica dinner transferred Extravagant Day to the West Coast for good
9. THE WESLEY SNIPES AWARD (Oddest Tan):
James Hall
– Oddly enough, his tan was visible everywhere except Facebook
10. THE THIRD BASE BOACH AWARD (Responsible Country Music-Lover with an Affinity for Sunglasses)
Dan MacIldoon
– The only one who had a shot with the girl playing baseball on the beach
11. THE SWITZERLAND AWARD (Violently Non-Partisan)
Mike Daly
– Gets point for driving on the West and East Coasts
12. THE JACOB MARLEY AWARD (Tax Man)
Matt Caicco
– Didn't need an income to take the trip. Good on ya!
13. I can't think of an award for myself. It ain't the right thing to do.
If there are anymore suggestions, give me a shout and I'll post them up.
Congrats to all the winners.
